Illusions

 

I remember the sudden shock, the sinking in my chest and the horrible feeling that everything I knew was a lie. That my life had been a mirage. Looking at my mother and Aunty Agnes that evening, I honestly did not know how to feel but I knew that someone just had to be lying, and that person was not me.

30 hours earlier

I lay on my bed that night, ignoring the knocks on the doors after I just fought with my mother. I am disappointed and still in denial that she had forgotten that tomorrow is such an important day in my life and she would be absent. 

“Go away,” I say as the knocks on the doors got louder and more frequent. I know it is Aunty Agnes trying to caution me against raising my voice on my mother but I am not ready for all that.

“Go away!” I yell placing a pillow over my head letting it soak up my tears.

“My friend I’m coming in,” Aunty Agnes says and kicks the door open, brightening my room with the light from the corridor.

 However, I remain still. Then I feel her sit beside me.

“Ugonna,” she says and chuckles, “You should learn to give your mother some grace, you know”

“It’s just not fair,” I say taking off the pillow from my face, “Everybody’s parents would be there tomorrow. My friends would be laughing at me and I would feel sad. She knows how important the inter house sports is to me and I get to represent my team in racing” I say as my tears transcend to giving me hiccups. 

Aunty Agnes comes closer to me, hangs her hand above my shoulder and looks at me intently.

“Your mother is not feeling well and you know it. She has a lot on her mind and she needs all the grace, empathy and second chances she can get” she says and I shake my head not ready to listen to the same song about how tired and sick my mother is.

“What about daddy?” I ask. Aunty Agnes takes in a deep breath and I roll my eyes, already aware of the answer. 

“You know your father travelled to Aba for business and has been away for a while”

“He cannot make a quick return for me?” I throw back at her.

“Ugonna, you just have to understand” Her eyes widen. 

“Understand what exactly Aunty? That my parents don't care about me again?” I bring out my three fingers to her face, counting them one by one.

“On my school’s open day, they were nowhere to be found. On ‘bring your mother to class’ day last week, I woke up and figured that I was the only one at home. Even on my graduation day from primary five, I was the only one standing there without his parent behind him. Here I am thinking that maybe this time would be different but they never cease to disappoint me” I lament and watch her eyebrows rise in deep concern, I am convinced that for the first time since our conversation, she begins to see things from my angle. 

“My boy, don't worry, I promise you that I would come and watch you run. I will make sure I close the shop at 3 pm sharp. The race starts at 1 pm okawaya? I will come watch you and bring you home myself. We will even buy that suya that you like on our way home” She says and a small smile forms at the corner of her lips. 

I simply nod wiping the tears from my eyes.

“That one is okay abi? You are happy now eh?” Aunty Agnes asks.

“Yes. Thank you, aunty. I am happy now” I lie to myself and to her because I am nothing close to being happy. I watch her leave and shut the door leaving my room in its initial dark state. 

Throughout the night, I toss and turn, sleep is so far away from my eyes and my heart is filled with so much pain and pent-up anger. I just want to be a regular kid for once, or maybe pretend to be. I want to be surrounded by people who would show up and show out for me without me having to beg for it. My father was like that well until he travelled to Aba. He followed me for training and was my biggest cheerleader throughout primary school. I miss him so much and I hope he gets home soon to us. 

Then suddenly, I have the urge to pray. I shut my eyes quickly  and open up my heart to God.

“Dear God, please help me change my mother’s mind so that she can come and cheer me on tomorrow. Please help her to stop being so sad and mean towards me. Help me to also win the race tomorrow for my team so I can make my mother, my father and Aunty Agnes proud. Amen”. 

St Thomas Secondary School Ngwo - 12:30pm

I sit in a corner of the field staring at nothing and observing the inter-house sports event slowly roar into action. I let my mind wander off to distract myself and focus on winning today’s race. The atmosphere around me is charged with energy and excitement as the contestants for the high jump file out and their parents cheer their teams on. Everyone looks so happy and I wonder why I am the only one with the mood of a bereaved at a funeral.  

“Ugonna!” I hear my team coach scream from a distance. He is a stern-looking man whose bears could braid the hair of a baby and whose round bulgy eyes are always red due to excess smoking of marijuana. 

“Sah!” I answer, jolting up in fear and wiping the dust off the back of my shorts. 

“Why are you sitting here mopping around like a dummy? You don't see your mates practising eh?” He thunders as soon as he approaches me. 

Then looking at me intently, he reaches for my forehead and places his palm on it. 

“This one you are looking pale, are you sure you can run like this?” 

“Yes sah I can run. I feel very strong sah” I say and we both immediately know how much of a big lie that is. 

He again, looks at me intently for a moment, sizing me from hair to toe, hesitates a little and dips his hand into this pocket.

“Oya take this, go to the canteen and buy chilled coke. Don't buy any edibles oh. Make sure you drink everything. I don't like how you are looking. Oya be fast, we have less than an hour to go. Eh? Oya oya be going!” He says as he squeezes a 200 note in my hand.

“Thank you sah,” I say and make my way to the canteen in a half walk, half jog manner. 

On getting close to the canteen, I stop in my tracks as I recognize a familiar figure, not believing my eyes. I widen my eyes in shock. 

“Daddy!” I scream running into the waiting arms of my father. 

“I didn't know you would come,” I say hugging him even tighter.

“Of course, I could not miss the race for anything. I have to watch my son kill it. I didn't miss it abi?” He says making me grin so hard that my cheeks hurt.

“No you are right on time” I glance at my watch “We start in twenty minutes,” I say. 

“Are you okay?” He asks noticing the crack in my voice. 

“I am scared, daddy. I don't think I still want to run” I admit letting my shoulders fall in defeat. 

“What do you mean Ugo? You always wanted to do this and we have practised for years. Remember?”

“Well, ever since you left two years ago. A lot changed”

“Don’t say that, you still have it in you” He says and I wipe my tears, chuckling.

“I was in primary 4 then daddy, I am in JS2 now. I don't think...”

“Ssh. Okay, let’s have a deal” He squats before me “Prove me wrong that I didn’t waste over five years training to be a good runner. Go out there and prove me wrong” He says.

“But the others are so good” I protest.

“And you are good as well Ugonna. Go out there and show them whose son you are. Deal?”

A small smile formed on my lips. “Deal,” I say as I hug him again. 

Madam special goat meat pepper soup joint - 5:35 pm

As I hold my father’s hand, with my medal hung around my neck, my victory attained in today’s race, and talking to him about everything as we strolled; my life feels perfect for the first time in a while. I can’t wait to go home to show my mother my medal and more importantly, her husband that is back finally. However, daddy insists we buy some goat meat pepper soup before going home to celebrate my victory.

Standing just a stone's throw from the shop, my father dips his hand into his pocket and hands me a 1000 naira note.

“Go in and tell her to pack a plate for you. I will wait here” He says

“No, I don't want to go in alone o. With all those big uncles inside” I protest

“Ah ah, are you not a big boy too? After winning today’s race you want to belittle yourself now now. Common go in and buy something jor. It's getting dark. You don’t want your mother to be worried. Oya be fast” He chuckles playfully brushing my shoulder. 

Getting out of the shop with the food in my hand, I meet the angry eyes of Aunty Agnes and the tired face of my mother.

“Bia ebea! Common will you come here!” Aunty Agnes barks furrowing her eyebrows at me in pure anger.

“Ichoro itinye mmadu na ngbahari? Do you want to give your mother and I high blood pressure? I have been in your school since 3 pm looking for you like a mad person. Thanks to a few good samaritans who saw you coming towards this direction. Oya hanlele! let’s be going”. 

She stretches out her right arm in the direction of the main road in a dramatic manner. My mother simply looks on, with her tired eyes like she was forced to be there. But I stand still, looking at both of them in confusion. 

“But Aunty I am not alone na. Daddy has been with me the whole time” I say

“Which daddy?” she says and suddenly seems taken aback.

I glance towards my father who stood a little bit far from us.“Daddy come and say something na” I yell

“I can’t, Ugo,” He says

“Why,” I ask in more confusion

“Because…because they cannot see me” He replies as tears well up in his eyes. 

“That is not possible. Aunty Daddy is right there. See him now!” I say pointing to where my father stood. My own voice cracks up too and I feel the tears coming with force. 

“Daddy” I call out again but he did not respond.

Then, my mother comes and kneels before me, taking my hands into hers.

“Evelyn, let it not be what I am thinking that you want to say right now” Aunty Agnes calls out. 

“Cut the game, Agnes. The poor boy has to know” My mother says and looks me in the eyes.

“Know what mummy?” I ask, my palms now trembling and I suddenly feel upset in my stomach. 

“Your father died two weeks ago in a hit-and-run. A trailer ran into his car and zoomed off when he saw that your father died on the spot” My mother says.

The force of the tears that I had been suppressing rushed through my narrowed eyes as my soul feels crushed.

I turn to my father who is now in tears.

“Is it true?” I ask and he nods, unable to utter a single word, confirming and bringing all my deepest fears to life. 

THE END.

Benecca’s Tales

2023

All Rights Reserved.

Picture Credit - Getty images.

AUTHOR’S NOTE

First of all, if you read to this point, I want to thank you for being patient and reading till the end.

The idea of this story was too wild and unique that I could not help but make it a little bit lengthy. 

Ihope you enjoyed reading it and please do well to let me know what your thoughts are in the comment section.

Kindly note that this story is completely fictious and inspired by the song, “Illusions” by the Nigerian Artiste, Brymo.

Please share🥰

- Vanessa Anakor (thevanessawriter@yahoo.com)